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Why We Need To Stop Saying Shame On You

29 August 2017 Written by 

Perhaps you, like I, grew up under the wagging fingers of parents and grandparents who scolded with these words, "Shame on you!" These words had a deep and lasting impact which I did not fully realize until later in my life.


These three little words say to a child "You are bad!" These words bring humiliation, guilt, a feeling of inadequacy, fear, pain, a desire to flee, and a build-up of toxic emotions. A child who hears these words repeated over and over will carry within their heart a core value which says "You are fatally flawed." Like a tree that is rotting from the inside out, this child will try to hide, try to cover up the shame, and try to protect himself from more shame.

The deepest impact on the heart of this child is that he feels unlovable and rejected. It becomes difficult or impossible to even love himself. The truth is, of course, that no person is fatally flawed. We make mistakes, but we are not a mistake. We can make amends for any mistakes we make.

We are perfectly loved. Within each of us lies a perfect love put there by the Lover of the universe. We are perfectly loved and cherished.

It's time to let go of the shame and humiliation. As we let go, we can receive the truth that we are deeply loved and cherished and begin to live out of that love. We can begin to let that love replace the shame and let its warmth fill our entire being.

 

 

 

Content Originally Published By: Amy T. @ Blogspot

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Read 432 times Last modified on Wednesday, 30 August 2017 18:16
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Amy T.

Raised on a dairy farm in upstate NY, I learned to work hard along with my five siblings. I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite-Amish church which shaped a lot of my fundamental core values and beliefs. After moving to Florida to attend college, I married and became mother to five children. Eventually, my unmanageable life came to a crashing halt and I found my way into an Al-Anon recovery program. Recovery has affected every area of my life and I love sharing the things I am learning with others so that they might also find hope for their own recovery.
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