Sexual addiction is sometimes a controversial diagnosis and is not listed in the DSM-V of mental disorders. However, we will focus here on this as an addiction using the following definition (author unknown): Addiction is an unhealthy relationship with or to a mood-altering substance, event, person, or thing which has life-damaging consequences. We also acknowledge that there a variety of sexual practices and variety may lead to a healthier sex life as long as it is consensual sex.
Symptoms Of A Sexual Addiction
- Compulsive masturbation: This means that the person masturbating has difficulty controlling the masturbation, for example, having to masturbate numerous times at work and at home. This masturbation may also affect a partner as the masturbation may be used instead of having a healthy sex life.
- Using pornography: This also becomes problematic if it causes consequences such as it being offensive to a partner or the person uses it as a substitute for healthy sex or violent porn influencing how the person treats others.
- Using adult bookstores, attending strip clubs, escort services, or sex parties: Again, this may cause problems in relationships, addictive processes with the inability to control the behavior, or engaging in dangerous behaviors.
- Engaging in multiple partners: Various problems may include having a partner who wants a monogamous relationship and the risk of STDs or HIV.
- Utilizing online anonymous sex for hookups, sexting, or porn: The internet has opened up new avenues for sexual behaviors including dangerous hookups, sending sexual photos, and participating in the “dark web” of base, dark, inappropriate behaviors such as sexting minors, participating in dangerous activities such as violent sex, and other inappropriate behaviors.
- Participating in prostitution either as a prostitute or seeking their services: Engaging in prostitution as either a prostitute or the john is fraught with danger such as being raped, physical abuse, STDs and HIV, and death.
- Not practicing safe sex: Again, consequences may include STDs, HIV, other medical problems as well as unwanted pregnancy.
- Sexual dysfunction due to addictive behaviors: If one is engaging in unhealthy sexual behavior, then healthy sexual behavior may be negatively affected for there may be no interest, an inability to perform without the addiction, or problems within a relationship.
- Some sexual behaviors cause legal problems: Sexual offenses may include: sending sexual messages (sexting), voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, child sexual abuse, or sexual violence.
Rick is someone who has a sexual addiction. He went to counseling because he was constantly cheating on his wife and she was ready to take the children and leave him because of this. Besides his cheating behaviors, he was constantly masturbating at work and once, he was caught by a co-worker. He also viewed bondage porn and struggled with sex with his wife without bondage which she didn’t enjoy. On occasion, he had utilized the services of a prostitute. His masturbation was a problem as he often had little sexual desire for his wife. A sexual addiction evaluation was used to identify the main problems. He was able to see that he had tried to quit seeing other women but couldn’t stop, that the masturbation and porn were continuous, that he spent a lot of time thinking about and being involved in the addictive behaviors, he struggled with self-soothing behaviors other than sex (such as hobbies), he was irritable if not engaging in or thinking about sex, and demonstrated an increase tolerance for all types of these sexual events. While he was having consequences (wife and children may leave, work consequences, time spent on sexual activities and being preoccupied with these activities when not engaged, bondage), he wasn’t sure he wanted to stop, which was an honest evaluation. After a few sessions, Rick and his therapist decided that he was unable to deal with his addiction on an individual counseling level. Because process addictions (sex, eating, working) are so difficult to cope with because they can’t just be stopped (such as the treatment for substance abuse), an inpatient program can offer more in the treating of the addiction by first, allowing the addict to be away from many of the triggers, and then, exploring ways to cope with urges for problematic sex and exploring healthier sex and other activities.. Rick did complete a program and continued with outpatient counseling to follow up with relapse prevention. Rick also began attending Sex and Love Addiction (S.L.A.A.) meetings regularly. While he still struggled, he is doing better in taking good care of himself in all areas of his life, including his sexual relationships. His wife and children still moved out, but as Rick works his program his family is far more open about his addiction. Even though she moved out Rick's wife is supporting him as he works his recovery program. Rick is thrilled he now has a program to help him break free of sex addiction.
A Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By: Carol Anderson
Click here to find a treatment center in your area: