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College Move In Day Without Dad

07 August 2017 Written by 

I am struggling with many emotions as the day draws close and among them a sense of loss that her father will not be there to drive the U-Haul and hug her goodbye. Her father died of the disease when she was only 15 years old. The grief counselor warned me years ago Marcy would continue to grieve as she grew and had to face circumstances without him.  This will be one of those situations.

We will watch as other Dads lug their daughter’s belongings into the dorm. We will wonder what it would have been like to have her Dad with us. We will dream about what it would have been like to have him be a part of this day. Then I will breathe and return to the reality of the disease.

In reality her father wouldn’t have been able drive the U-Haul or carry any of her things into her dorm. The disease had progressed so much that at the end he struggled to do even daily chores. That was the reality. He was gone years before he even died. Alcoholism has a tough reality. It is confusing and difficult to face. No wonder the loved ones go into denial.

Life isn’t fair. It isn’t fair Marcy has to watch other girls have what she will never have. It would be so easy for me to grow resentful about the situation. Why did her father not get into recovery soon enough? Then I remember my recovery.

  •  Life has a purpose and a Higher Power
  • I am exactly where I am supposed to be
  • I can breathe and remember the good things

Working my program in Al-Anon has helped me accept life on life’s terms. I learned the disease steals our Family and Friends from us, but in recovery we are given new Family and Friends. No, my daughter would not have her father helping her move into her dorm, but she would have her brothers, Max and Mitch, a wonderful family friend, Mike, and her Mom to help. We will all be there for her; loving her and wishing her all the best with tears and hugs.

No, life isn’t fair, but it is wonderful when we accept it on its terms and look for the good that is all around us.

A  Reach Out Recovery Exclusive: Madeline Schloop

A great website for your College kids to know about if they need help. Click below:

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Read 2081 times Last modified on Thursday, 31 August 2017 19:17
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Madeline Schloop

Madeline is the widow of a man who died of alcoholism and the mother of 5 young adults whom she parents with the tools of Al-Anon. Her children continue to be affected by the disease of alcoholism. Her stories  deal with life's daily trials and what has and hasn't worked.
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