Co-Dependent Makes Mug Cupcake

20 January 2017 Written by 

A year ago, I was a full-time “smother.” I thought being hopelessly devoted to the world’s most beautiful boy was my highest calling. I was wrong.

A few weeks ago, one of my new friends in recovery told me “Enabling is Disabling.” I thought doing things my son, Alex, could do for himself was me showing love, so I often:

  • Helped/did his homework
  • Picked up his toys because I didn’t mind
  • Tied his shoes even though he knew how

Instead, I was on the path to disabling my son.

In the last year, I’ve taken many small steps to liberate my child. We both face each new task with trepidation. Sometimes one or both of us grumble, and sometimes there's protest.  Sometimes one or both of us need a time out, but we've both made a ton of progress. I've learned not helping and letting him figure it out is showing love. He’s learned how to:

  • Make his bed
  • Cut his own food
  • Wash and fold his laundry
  • Make himself a sandwich
  • Use the microwave

His latest accomplishment is making a delicious chocolate cupcake for one. Leslie created this amazing recipe, a chocolaty composite of many online versions, and shared it with us in the office. It’s so quick and simple even a 12 year-old can make it. The best part of this recipe isn’t the lack of flour or oil – it’s hearing my son open the cabinet doors, rifle through the cupboards, open the microwave, and take care of himself. The best part is when he comes up to me afterwards with a huge smile on his face to show me what he just "baked."  And to think I almost deprived us both of this amazing moment.

Microwave Mug Cupcake

In a microwave-safe coffee cup, add:

  • One egg
  • 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder
  • 4 tablespoons of powdered sugar

Mix together with a fork. Microwave for 50 seconds. Let cool and enjoy. Top with frosting, or add chocolate chips for a less healthy version. I make mine with only 2 tablespoons of powdered sugar, and it's still delicious. 

Read 912 times Last modified on Friday, 20 January 2017 22:10
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Pam Carver

In my family of origin, three of us are in treatment for codependency, drugs, and/or alcohol abuse. Two of us are in denial about the devastating effects codependency, drugs, and alcohol have had on our family. None of us are talking about it. I’m the codependent one on a quest for healthy living through love and boundaries. My journey started in Celebrate Recovery. I have much to learn and practice. I live with my wonderful husband, amazing son, and pseudo-therapy beagle, Spot. I enjoy long walks on the beach and writing about the life-changing principles I’m learning in the rooms of recovery.
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