What I Learned

26 August 2016 Written by 

As a co-dependent, I was famous for saying “Yes” to anything and everything I was asked to do. My motto was, “Whatever it takes…” I would never stop to think before saying yes.

I was a people-pleaser and a perfected martyr. I’m here to serve, love, protect, defend, help, fix, yadda, yadda, yadda. Oh boy, that behavior was destroying me slowly but surely. I knew nothing of boundaries and taking care of myself. I thought taking care of myself was selfish. I was so mixed up and backwards.

It took a lot of recovery to bring me to a place of balance and joy. I learned that every ball that is tossed to me does not have to be caught by me. I learned that I can say, “Let me think about that and I’ll get back to you” instead of immediately saying yes. I learned that taking care of myself is part of my spiritual health and it is necessary and important.

I learned to say no. I learned to put boundaries in place to protect myself from MY own crazy behavior. I learned to stop and THINK before I opened my mouth. I learned that it was not up to me to carry the world and all its cares.

I learned that it was never intended for me to be responsible to care for, fix, or control the lives of others. I learned that every person is on their own spiritual journey, and that I am not invited on their journey. I learned that my “helping” was actually harming others.

Yes, I have learned a lot in recovery. What I discovered has brought me joy, health and a positive life that is not always running on “empty.” I am so very grateful.

Content Originally Published By: Amy T. @ Blogspot


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Amy T.

Raised on a dairy farm in upstate NY, I learned to work hard along with my five siblings. I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite-Amish church which shaped a lot of my fundamental core values and beliefs. After moving to Florida to attend college, I married and became mother to five children. Eventually, my unmanageable life came to a crashing halt and I found my way into an Al-Anon recovery program. Recovery has affected every area of my life and I love sharing the things I am learning with others so that they might also find hope for their own recovery.
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