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Knowing When And How To Say No

07 June 2017 Written by 

What happens when I say “yes” when I should say “no”? I should know, because this was the person I once was.

If you asked me to do something, I would quickly say, “Sure, I can do that for you. I’d be happy to,” even if I really wanted to say no. I didn’t know how to say no. I didn’t know that I had a choice.

I learned in recovery that “No” is a complete sentence.

I don’t need to give explanations or defend myself. I learned that I could say, “That won’t work for me.”

I also learned to say, “Let me think about that and I’ll get back to you with my answer.” That was where I started – just giving myself time to think it through and get in touch with how I really wanted to respond to the request.

Saying “yes” when I should say “no” cheats others from the lessons they are supposed to learn. It also can be a source of a budding resentment inside of me.

As a result of saying “yes” when I should say “no” I can get myself in a lot of trouble. I forget to take care of myself.

Sometimes, saying “That won’t work for me” is the most loving and kind answer I can give because it takes care of me and gives respect to others, knowing that they will grow as they figure out their own answers.

Content Originally Published By: Amy T. @ Blogspot.com

 

Read 2180 times Last modified on Saturday, 10 June 2017 10:12
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Amy T.

Raised on a dairy farm in upstate NY, I learned to work hard along with my five siblings. I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite-Amish church which shaped a lot of my fundamental core values and beliefs. After moving to Florida to attend college, I married and became mother to five children. Eventually, my unmanageable life came to a crashing halt and I found my way into an Al-Anon recovery program. Recovery has affected every area of my life and I love sharing the things I am learning with others so that they might also find hope for their own recovery.
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