Emotional Hooks

01 August 2016 Written by 

There are those who use emotional hooks in an attempt to get what they want from others. It’s a subtle form of manipulative control. There are always strings attached – with a hook at the end. It’s meant to “bring you around” so that they can have their way with you.

When emotional hooks are thrown, they make the recipient feel uncomfortable and off-balance. There’s this nagging feeling that “I can’t put my finger on it, but something isn’t quite right here.” This may be accompanied by feelings of false guilt. I might feel like I’m “being bought” with gifts, so I think I’m expected to give this person what they want (whether I really want to or not!).

Emotional hooks are a form of bullying, in a passive-aggressive way. The hooks get bigger, more frequent, and more demanding. I feel suffocated and pressured. But somehow I feel guilty if I don’t give into the demands of the one who is throwing me the emotional hooks.

Fishing with emotional hooks is a game some people play. I have learned to smell the bait when it comes along. I choose not to take the bait, and not to play the game. I walk away.

Content Originally Published By: Amy T. @

Read 646 times Last modified on Tuesday, 13 December 2016 20:16
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Amy T.

Raised on a dairy farm in upstate NY, I learned to work hard along with my five siblings. I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite-Amish church which shaped a lot of my fundamental core values and beliefs. After moving to Florida to attend college, I married and became mother to five children. Eventually, my unmanageable life came to a crashing halt and I found my way into an Al-Anon recovery program. Recovery has affected every area of my life and I love sharing the things I am learning with others so that they might also find hope for their own recovery.
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