Co-Dependent's Recipe For Tea

10 February 2016 Written by 

Want to stop being codependent? Try making tea. The people pleaser does everything for others. The other person (we all have them in our lives) likes everything done for him. How to change the equation. First gather your ingredients.


  • 1 codependent people pleaser
  • 1 person who likes everything done for him.
  • 1 64 oz. pitcher
  • 3 family size tea bags
  • Sugar (optional)
  • Recovery meetings as needed

Time: 3-4 weeks depending on skill level.

Week One – Codependent says she's making unsweetened tea. The sweet tea lover scoffs at such silliness. Who drinks unsweetened anything? Do it for me. Codependent makes pitcher of tea, but pours herself a glass of unsweet tea before adding sugar to the rest of the pitcher.

Week Two – After attending two recovery meetings, the codependent is stronger and a bit more resilient. Codependent makes pitcher of unsweet tea, and then offers the sweet tea lover the sugar bowl to add sugar to his taste. The sweet tea lover objects. Why can't the tea just be sweetened the way I want it. Codependent waivers, and offers to make a separate pitcher of sweet tea for the sweet tea lover. Sweet tea lover declines, offended. 

Week Three – After attending another recovery meeting, codependent makes pitcher of unsweet tea and shows a child in the room how to use sugar bowl to sweeten her own glass of tea. Sweet tea lover, offended, makes his own pitcher of sweet tea. 

Week Four – After another recovery meeting, codependent completely ignores sweet tea lover and makes a pitcher of unsweetened tea exactly the way she likes it. Later she notices sweet tea lover enjoying a glass of tea. “Did you make yourself a pitcher of tea?” she asks.

“No. I got some sugar from the sugar bowl.” 

Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By: Pam Carver

Read 2187 times Last modified on Monday, 07 November 2016 15:46
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Pam Carver

In my family of origin, three of us are in treatment for codependency, drugs, and/or alcohol abuse. Two of us are in denial about the devastating effects codependency, drugs, and alcohol have had on our family. None of us are talking about it. I’m the codependent one on a quest for healthy living through love and boundaries. My journey started in Celebrate Recovery. I have much to learn and practice. I live with my wonderful husband, amazing son, and pseudo-therapy beagle, Spot. I enjoy long walks on the beach and writing about the life-changing principles I’m learning in the rooms of recovery.
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