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Elizabeth Viszt

Elizabeth Viszt

Elizabeth Viszt BA,MS, a Health & Wellness Coach in New York, is Master of Habit Change around the areas of nutrition, dieting, and personal relationships.
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I drove home while chatting excitedly on the phone with my best friend, she was leaving for a wedding out of state and I was readying to meet my new students the next day; we were both enthusiastic and grateful for the new experiences.

I struggled with being my word and keeping the traditional “till death do us part” from my marriage vows when I learned of my husband’s infidelity. I had meant my vows when I said them fourteen years prior; but in the face of feelings of betrayal, anger and loss I couldn’t keep them.

My husband had already chosen for himself and did not want to stay married; but I hung in there, thinking that I needed to keep my word, even if he hadn’t. Integrity was everything to me. I realized after some time (and a wonderful counselor!) that keeping my word was more important to me than staying married, and I chose to honor my word instead. I would remain in open communication throughout the dissolution of our marriage and I would forgive it and let go. This didn’t happen overnight, mind you. It took about six months for the marriage to come to an amicable completion and another five years before I really knew I had forgiven him.

John Mayer sings, “Say what you need to say” in a song featured in the 2007 movie, The Bucket List. The movie followed the lives of two men who had each been given a grim health prognosis and how they chose to spend their time following the news. One of the men was estranged from his daughter and had never met his granddaughter; he stopped himself from saying I’m sorry and I love you by staying out of communication.

Tim McGraw’s lyrics from Live Like You Were Dying, inspire the listener to do the same – get out there and live life and tell people how you feel. Nike has the brand Just Do It … and life, in my opinion, should have the brand Just Say It. Communicate. Speak your truth. Be your word. And if you can’t be your word, at the very least honor it.

Communication Changes Everything

My Ex reached out with a text that read, “Next time you’re in town I’d like to meet for coffee. I have something to tell you.” We met at a coffee shop and after the usual catch-up and chatter about nothing, he said, “I’m so sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t deserve that.” He said it. Out loud. To me. The words I would have given my left arm to hear in the middle of it, I had finally heard five years later. Those words brought tremendous peace and closure to what had happened between us and I was so grateful that he was able to just say it.

Try it for yourself. Is there a relationship you are keeping yourself out of because you are walking on the proverbial eggshells about something you need to say that you’re not saying? Would you have to give up being right, justified, angry, hurt or vulnerable in order to get in communication? What would it take for you to just say it?

“You better know that in the end

 it’s better to say too much

then never say what you need to say again” - Say, John Mayer

Reach Out Recovery Exclusive by Elizabeth Viszt

If you need help with relationships, addition, or mental health, click on the image below for a free resource to find professionals near you.

The uproar around the NFL players and their peaceful protest regarding the National Anthem is the most talked about story in both conventional and social media so far, this week. What should we think about it?

When I started dating, I stuck a toe in the water of the online dating pool. It was at a time in my life when I felt alone and I was doubtful of my footing. I was divorced and my support system was gone.

In the face of a storm, some people flee and others wait it out. How do we decide, or not decide, what to do in every situation? Playing the what-if game extends the agony of indecision.

In upstate New York today, I'm thinking of Irma and praying for friends in Florida. The sunrise here today was punctuated by trees that have begun to change color with the cool nights. 

Being divorced, in my fifties and dating is not like dating at any other time in life.

I set the intention of having an “adventure” today and got more than I bargained for. A deer I had stopped for crashed my car. Then I learned something about love.

In the age of so many forms of communication, the lack of knowing how to get into a conversation is glaring. What happened to asking questions of other people?

There is a flow to life and if you’re lulled into the complacency of it, you can be left waiting for the next event with a longing that leaves you dulled to what is happening right now.

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