We Shut Down The Help Button
Often, we allow panic to drive our lives in a way that we end up shutting out the contributions that others want to make to us. We decide that we are strong and that means that we don’t need anyone else’s help. We roll up our sleeves and go it alone, dismissing the aid we want, but somehow won’t allow ourselves to take.
Caregiving Is Good -- Care-taking Is Good Too
Calling ourselves generous, our efforts are enormous in caregiving. Care-taking, however, is another story. “Taking” just sounds self-centered and greedy, while “giving” sounds thoughtful and kind. We convince ourselves that we shouldn’t take anything while we eagerly and freely give our time to others. Adding more and more to our already overcrowded lives, it’s no surprise that panic is a result.
Try Something New
Instead, in that moment of overwhelm, what if we realized that without taking there can be no giving? That taking help offered by another is also an act of generosity? That life just doesn’t flow if everyone gave and no one took.
How Do You Take Things
Be curious as to how this shows up in your life by observing how you take a compliment. Does “I love your sneakers” elicit a response from you of self-depreciation - “Oh, these old things?” Or do you reciprocate - “They’re nothing special. But I looooove your dress!” Or maybe you deflect it entirely – “Nonsense, they’re just sneakers.” Do you ever just take the compliment and simply say “thank you”? Try it. See how it feels to take care of yourself by letting others contribute to you. People who feel healed want to heal others. Let them.
Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By Elizabeth Viszt