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Stressed Out Pre-Teen

01 December 2015 Written by 

Dear Edie, I'm only 12 but I'm getting stressed about everything. I have a little sister and she is always stressing me out and being horrible to me. Whenever I try and be nice she just starts being horrible. I've tried talking to her but it doesn't work. I'm having trouble sleeping because of it. What shall I do?” -Daisy

Dear Daisy:

What a wise young woman you are to ask for help. Some people hold on to their feelings for many years and that’s when things get much worse.  How old is your younger sister?  I wonder what kinds of things she is doing that bother you. Are they just words or does she physically hurt you or take your belongings? When my sister and I were kids, (she is 2 ½ years younger) we would argue and sometimes she did things to get my attention and sometimes I did things to be bossy. Our parents had us work things out as best we could.

As we are both adults now, we laugh at what went on between us and still sometimes see things differently. We learned ways to get along even if we didn’t agree. I am not in any way assuming that is what is going on between you and your sister. What would you like her to do differently?  How do you express to her what you want?  Sometimes younger siblings feel jealous of the older ones and act in mean ways to show it. Do you think she wants your attention and doesn’t know how to ask for it? Not that this is alright; it just might explain a little of what is doing on. Are there other things going on in your family that may contribute to the conflicts? Have the two of you ever gotten along?  If so, when did it change? 

Are your parents aware of what goes on between you and how it is effecting you?  I would ask them to step in and help work things out between you so it doesn’t get harder for you. Most parents want their children to get along with each other and be friends.

When you feel stressed out, what do you do to help yourself feel better? Some people turn to unhealthy ways to deal with stress, such as drugs or alcohol. Please don’t.

Here are some healthy ways:

1. You could spend time with friends

2. You could write in a journal about your feelings

3. You could draw, color, listen to music, dance and be in nature.

These are the same things I suggest to adults who feel what you do.

Wishing for peace between you and your sister.

A Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By Edie Weinstein

Read 493 times Last modified on Tuesday, 08 November 2016 18:51
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Edie Weinstien

Rev. Edie Weinstein, LSW  is an ‘opti-mystic who views life through the eyes of possibility. Her creative, career and spiritual paths have led her to become a writer, speaker, interfaith minister, reiki master, clown, greeting card text writer and social worker. She engages in life fully, inviting others to join her. As a guide, she holds a mirror up to those with whom she works, so that they may see their own beauty and discover their own answers.
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