New Mother Worries About Relapse

04 December 2015 Written by 

Dear Edie: 

I just had a baby and I am afraid my husband, who has been clean for five years, will relapse with the pressure. What should I do? Scared In Upstate New York

Dear Scared:

First of all, congratulations on the birth of your little one. What an exciting time for you and your family.  Additional kudos for your husband’s five years of sobriety. That is quite a milestone too. Does he feel solid in his recovery with sober supports and an action plan, whether or not he goes to meetings?

In terms of parenting, does he seem to be prepared for the additional responsibility of fatherhood?  Have the two of you discussed the ways in which your relationship will change now that there are three of you?  Open communication is essential throughout a marriage, but even more so when children join the family. 

These are some of the pressures new parents face:

  • Financial
  • Child care learning curve
  • Less time as a couple than they had before pregnancy
  • Change in routine
  • Family of origin history and role models around parenting and input from grandparents
  • Values with regard to raising a child

Shared Responsibilities

What have you decided about sharing the care and feeding of your child? Understand that he is not the ‘babysitter’ who helps you with the baby, but rather, the daddy who is equally responsible for raising and nurturing this little person to adulthood.

How Solid Is His Sobriety How You Can Help

Inquire if he feels that his sobriety is in jeopardy and ask how you can be of additional support. Remind him that you are a team and you are rooting for him as he is for you.

A guide book that can be of assistance is called Parenting For Life by Nina Sidell, MA.

 Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By Edie Weinstein

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Edie Weinstien

Rev. Edie Weinstein, LSW  is an ‘opti-mystic who views life through the eyes of possibility. Her creative, career and spiritual paths have led her to become a writer, speaker, interfaith minister, reiki master, clown, greeting card text writer and social worker. She engages in life fully, inviting others to join her. As a guide, she holds a mirror up to those with whom she works, so that they may see their own beauty and discover their own answers.
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