Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

I Keep On Hurting

26 May 2017 Written by 

Pain is the body’s way of communicating that something is amiss and needs to be tended to. Treatment, exercise and medication may be called for in order for it to be healed. The same is so for emotional discomfort. There are times when these interventions are not sufficient and the pain lingers.

Judith had a bout of shingles a few years ago that caused extreme neurological pain in the left side of her face and head. When she looked in the mirror, she saw lesions and a left eye that was swollen shut. For a brief period of time, in she wondered if she would look and feel this way forever. She had a heart pounding fear reaction and then had the emotional wherewithal to remind herself that it would indeed pass. She did question (and hoped she would never find out) how people lived with chronic pain. A friend had mentioned that some people “suffer with shingles for quite a while.”  Judith’s response was “I don’t do suffering.” Instead, she followed her doctor’s instructions, took the needed medication, rested when she could and reinforced for herself that she would recover, when doubt attempted to hijack her mind.

Resiliency VS Nurturing Illness

Judith had developed resiliency skills that enabled her to heal and only occasionally does she experience what she calls the “shingles tingles,” which are neurological residual impact of the condition.

Claire, on the other hand, had chronic pain throughout much of her life. As a child, she noticed that she received attention from her overworked and under-rested mother when she was ill. Out would come the blankets, hot tea, cuddles and 1:1 time with her mom. Although she may not have been consciously aware of the connection when she was young, it was in the office of her therapist that she was able to identify the connection between her current illness and the desire for being noticed by her husband and appreciated by her children, since her symptoms would exacerbate when she was feeling neglected.

The Three Step Paradigm For Emotional Pain Retainers

There are potentially three ways that we can view the experience of awareness of the broken places in our lives.

  • Victim- an event or series of events have occurred that created core wounds. It may take the form of abuse, assault, trauma or loss of some kind. The facts exist. Interpretation of these experiences is what contributed to the exacerbation of the conditions that might include depression, anxiety or addiction. “It’s his fault that I am angry.”   “It’s her fault that I feel worthless.” “If not for being raised in an alcoholic household, I wouldn’t have become addicted myself.”
  • Survivor- even if the above scenarios occurred in someone’s life, they have assessed the impact, sought support and have begun to heal their emotional injuries. Engaging in therapy, attending 12 step, refuge recovery or another alternative meeting, surrounding themselves with people who are their cheerleaders assists with making progress.
  • Thriver- well on their way to sustained recovery, the thriver reaches out to help others. A powerful example are Bill W. and Dr. Bob who founded AA. Others include the creators of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) and Shawne Duperon who formed Project Forgive. By assisting others, thrivers find that their own healing is enhanced. The concept of paying it forward can be applied here.

 What Is Woundology

Author, speaker and modern mystic, Caroline Myss coined the term ‘woundology’.  It exemplifies the ways in which some wear their painful life experiences as a badge of honor. While it is indeed honorable to acknowledge where we have been, it is important not to remain entrenched in the muck and mire of the past. It can instead, be a jumping off point to a healed and whole future.

Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By Edie Weinstein

If you or someone you know needs help with addiction or mental health issues, click on the link below to find professional help in your area.

Save

Read 12346 times Last modified on Monday, 07 August 2017 19:00
Rate this item
(1 Vote)
Edie Weinstien

Rev. Edie Weinstein, LSW  is an ‘opti-mystic who views life through the eyes of possibility. Her creative, career and spiritual paths have led her to become a writer, speaker, interfaith minister, reiki master, clown, greeting card text writer and social worker. She engages in life fully, inviting others to join her. As a guide, she holds a mirror up to those with whom she works, so that they may see their own beauty and discover their own answers.
Click Here For All Of Edie's Articles