When It All Fell Apart
Basically what happened was one comment unleashed months of repressed confrontations. There was yelling, cussing, blaming and to my own embarrassment I played a part in it. I had reached a point where I was sick of feeling crazy and manipulated and I lost it.
What I Found Out
I realized a few things after our big blow. I need to figure out a way to survive under the same roof as this person without letting it change who I am and how I deal with my problems. I also learned that this whole time when I thought I was handling it perfectly with my halo over my head, I was actually just suppressing everything. THIS IS BAD, VERY BAD. Because I cannot change or control anyone but myself. I am living in a house with someone who is polar opposite of me and makes me feel like I’m going crazy.
Finding a Solution: Damage Control
My living situation is out of my control as well as my roommate. So, I decided to focus on the things that I can control. I made a list of everything in this relationship that I can control and thought of ways to handle them that worked best for me.
Social Situations Together Have To End
For example, being with her in social situations. When we are out together with a group of friends we are literally the annoying, bitchy couple who is at each other’s throats. Taking every opportunity to make comments and jabs at one another. Let me remind you, this person was my best friend a few months ago. As if that isn’t mind blowing enough, I now have to create ways to distance myself from her and our relationship. Anyway I digress, so I realized we cannot be in social situations together because they bring out all the little issue and problems that we don’t talk about. That is what is best for me and my hope is that by limiting the time we spend together in an unhealthy environment, we can learn to live together in a genuinely peaceful way as opposed to this fake, walking on egg shells dance that we are currently doing.
Recovering Is One Day At A Time
All I can do is take this living situation one day at a time and take care of the stuff I can control and hope that once the lease is up, we will be able to salvage the friendship that we had before we decided to live 10 feet from one another.
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