Saying No To An Abusive Relationship

09 October 2015 Written by 

I Never Thought I Would Be That Person. I'm sure you've heard about the girls who shut themselves away from the world and all those who love them to hide the fact that the men they love are verbally abusive, and altogether ruining their life. I never thought I would be that girl. The one who answers the 10th phone call in a row. The one answers the door when their boyfriend is in a drunk rage and knocking incessantly. The one who excused the screaming fights and hurtful words as her fault somehow time and time again. Who ignored her gut feeling to leave and never look back. Or the one who let fear of what might happen dictate her decisions. I’m sure you are thinking of a similar relationship that you have been in or are currently in, and know all too well what I am talking about. And instead of focusing on the awful person who denies you your Happily Ever After, I am going to tell my abridged version of how I transformed my depression, crummy life into one that is, in my humble opinion, beyond fabulous.

 Rip the band- aid off

  • After the shit really hit the fan in my relationship (which by the way would go down in history as one of the most Jerry Springer moments of my life) I came to a moment of clarity. "This doesn’t have to be my life. It really.freaking.doesn’t." I then ripped off the band-aid. It was hard, and seemingly impossible. But I made a clean break by blocking his number, deleting him (and blocking him) on every form of social media, and stopped contact altogether. I didn’t need closure from him, what did he know? He got me into this crazy life, I sure as hell don’t need him to take me out of it. And I never looked back.

 

Change my address

  • Yes, that’s right I moved. I was able to start new and got out of the city that he lived in so he could no longer have even the slightest bit of knowledge about what is going on in my life and potentially interfere. It may seem impossible and maybe a little rash, but it is completely necessary when you have finally freed yourself from a controlling relationship. You need to protect yourself by getting yourself out of there. BYE small town drama HELLO new city and fabulous adventures!

 

 

Learn to love myself

  •  OMG that is so cheesy how many times can you hear that before you want to explode? But it is so true, especially after an abusive relationship. Go for a walk when there is a nice evening breeze. Treat yourself to that little item that you’ve been eyeing. And most importantly don’t talk shit about yourself TO yourself. Don’t look in the mirror and hate what you see, don’t feel awkward approaching someone new because of your insecurities. LOVE YOURSELF... YOU’RE ACTUALLY AMAZING.

Be fabulous people, whatever that means for your life. You’ve only got one and I don’t intend on spending it in the dramatic waste that was my relationship.

 

Until next time,

The Intern

A Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By The Intern 

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The Intern

The Intern is a college senior, sorority sister, child of a father who passed away from alcoholism. The intern tells about college life and what it's like to look for normal when you've never known it, and can't share your story with your professors, and friends.
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