- I couldn’t make my teens go to the college I wanted them to attend.
- I couldn’t keep the company I worked at for ten years from declaring bankruptcy.
- I couldn’t prevent or cure a loved one suffering from addiction. This is when my powerlessness hurt the most.
Somehow I thought I should be able to influence the ending of personal stories I didn't like. But I had to learn to think about it in a new way. Each event I wanted to control was not mine to manage. Teens make their own decisions, and whether or not they wanted to attend college was not mine to make. I had to accept that. I wasn't the boss of my company, so bankdrucy was his problem that just happened to trickle down to me. We all suffered from the shutdown. Then there's addiction, the big one that was the most devastating of all. My most important lesson. It wasn't my fault and not my job to fix.
We are all powerless over so many things.
When I adjusted my thinking, I understood that not being responsible for everything that goes wrong is a great thing. Yay, I didn't cause the business to fail, or prevent my kids from doing something they wanted to do. I did the best that I could do for my addicted loved one. I wasn't the boss of that situation, either.
Accepting reality of not being the boss of everything is actually quite empowering. Here are some benefits of accepting reality.
1. I am likely to suffer less and more likely to respond in a helpful manner when things do go wrong.
2. I am more likely to ask for help and call on my higher power (and friends) for guidance.
3. When I declare bankrupcy, the heavens seem to awaken every time.
Recently, my son Marvin's girlfriend kicked him out and he had no place to stay. As the sun set that first night I threw up a mother’s prayer,” God, I am powerless to save my son, please help.”
Immediately I remembered a friend’s home was being renovated and she had moved out just the weekend before. It was empty until the carpenters could pull permits and start the work. I quickly called her and asked if my son could stay there, and she said of course. It wasn’t a permanent solution, but it was a blessing to know he wouldn’t be on the street that night. I don’t know how Max's story will end, but I do know that where my power ends a far great Power takes over. Thank God…literally.
Content Originally Published By: Madeline Schloop @ Reach Out Recovery
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