Rose Colored Glasses

28 May 2017 Written by 

What Is Reality In A Family With Addiction? This is a big question mark for a lot of people. Life when loved ones are using is often puzzling, and we need help to understand what is real. Sometime what we want to be reality isn't. And then the truth hits us. Like the bumper sticker I saw this morning, “Reality continues to ruin my life.”  I have found reality a tough concept to accept. Thankfully there is a slogan to help me when reality comes knocking on my life.

One of My Favorite Slogans




Or As I Like to Say It

Painful Awareness

Peaceful Acceptance

Powerful Action

Why Is Awareness Painful

My awareness is painful nearly 100% of the time. It is the moment when the rose-colored glasses come off ,and I am finally brave enough to look at what is instead of what I was hoping was true. While this step is painful it is also bittersweet, because deep down I knew things were not adding up. I knew my truth was not lining up with what I believed. Taking this step allows me to trust my truth. This leads me to the next step.

What Is Peaceful Acceptance

Peaceful Acceptance is the place where I am no longer fighting reality. I am at peace with what is. It may be terrible and desperately wrong, but I am able to accept it as part of my reality. I don’t judge or make any decision at this point. I am simply acknowledging the way things are whether they are to my liking or not. Once I have surrendered to reality and accepted life on its terms I am able to take the final step.

What is Powerful Action

Powerful Action.While the first two pieces of this process appear passive with a focus on inner revelation, the final piece is all about taking action. This is about letting the world know just how powerful your voice is. This is where you get to change the way the story ends. Your actions can be decisive, big, and shocking to everyone. You may have been quiet while you became aware of a situation and even grieved while you accepted it. Now is the time to listen to your Higher Power and your inner voice and come up with a plan.

What Will You Do?

Do you need to draw a big boundary with a bully? Do you need to find a safe place to live? Do you need to stop sending money to a sibling who is secretly using drugs? That is your Powerful Action Step. Make it as big and as bold as it needs to be and above all be brave. You have done the  work of becoming aware and of accepting the situation. You have earned the right to roar back your response.

What I Did?

I used this slogan just recently when my oldest son, Mitch, was in a manic cycle of his Bi-Polar Disease. I was visiting him and he was too talkative, too emotional, too everything. He needed to get back to a healthy mindset, but what could I do? I used the awareness tool to see the situation as it was. He was not taking his medication. I grieved and accepted the situation. This was not what I wanted for my son, Mitch, but this was reality. I then decided on an action. I decided the best thing for me was to offer my help, but only after I had come back home via a text. He was too emotional in my presence and it felt right to let him have some space. Letting him know I loved him and was willing to help was my action. It wasn't that it was life changing, the benefit was I was aware of my powerlessness over so much of the situation and took steps to change only what I could.

This slogan helps me to handle any of life’s dramas with a bit more control and skill. It helps me to stay calm and not react when my heart is breaking. I have a game plan and can use it to keep my life in balance while changing everything.

Content Originally Published By: Madeline Schloop @ Reach Out Recovery

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Read 10094 times Last modified on Saturday, 12 August 2017 18:01
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Madeline Schloop

Madeline is the widow of a man who died of alcoholism and the mother of 5 young adults whom she parents with the tools of Al-Anon. Her children continue to be affected by the disease of alcoholism. Her stories  deal with life's daily trials and what has and hasn't worked.
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