The First A Is Awareness The second A is Acceptance Of What Is.
I fought this idea for most of my life because for me acceptance was defeat or worse, approval. I would have neither of that. No matter how big and destructive the elephant in the room was, I refused to accept it as part of my reality.
With addiction in the picture it can mean life or death at any time. That's a hard fact to digest. No matter the consequence, the truth is, when we learn to accept what is, we can define for ourselves what the real problem is and gain a clearer picture of our life. This A is not about doing anything other than believing what you see. Reality can feel like a cruel reminder of our powerlessness and inability to save someone we love. It is a reality that must become a friend. To believe that somehow our trust has been betrayed when we weren't looking doesn't help anyone.
The Hand You were Dealt
In my younger years I loved to play poker with my Dad. The one lesson I took away was that no matter how much I wanted a different card I had to play the hand I was dealt. I could wish and wish for an ace, but that only frustrated me. It didn't help me strategize how best to play the cards I had. This was the first time I came face to face with the concept of accepting reality on its own terms.
Not Judging Helps
Recently my college daughter texted me how hard everything was because nothing was going according to plan.
- Her new computer had a glitch and had to go back to the store
- She needed to find another place to live for the Fall
- College life was getting more stressful by the day
- She had a canker sore on her upper lip
I stopped her after two minutes and said, ‘Stop judging and be grateful.” She was confused. I said you keep judging each situation as good or bad. It just is. It isn’t what you wanted, but who is to say it is bad? Perhaps there is a higher reason for this inconvenience. Trust that everything is going according to plan, it just isn’t your plan. Accept what is and be grateful.” It was hard to get her to see that life was not against her. It was just happening. If she accepted it on its own terms perhaps it would go better for her. She said she would think about it. I knew she was facing all these obstacles to learn a bigger lesson not taught at any university.
What I Have Found Out About Acceptance.
- I can't change any situation by wishing it away
- Accepting reality gives me choices
- Trusting my higher power allows me embrace my powerlessness when life is scary
- Accepting the elephant in the room helps those around me to stay sane
- Not running away from life makes me feel empowered
Once I quit wishing for a different situation and started accepting what is, I found life was easier to handle and as I played the hand I was dealt life became less about getting my way and more about getting out of the way.
Content Originally Published By: Nadine Knapp @ Reach Out Recovery
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